i keep seeing terrifier like, everywhere
n thats definitely not cos i follow tumblr gifmakers who gif horror movies.
or watch meat canyon's channel where he just talks about things he likes.
(it is)
(its definitely both of those things)
anyway my interest is piqued i wanna see this horror clown movie
i know im in for a gorefest but idk if itll be a fun one or. yknow. a drag
so lets. find out
i had to grab a drink so i had a second to think so as one does i thought of what kinda clown the clown in this movie is, then thought of Cirque Du Soleil's Alegria opening act cos i dont know shit about clowns. but damn if that show isn't about clowns
also the alegria opening is a bop
anyways found the movie.
wow this static over top of a modern image of a news caster sure looks realistic. also why is this website putting broken image warnings inside the video player..
oh, adblock. nvm
so we learn the interview is with the sole survivor of a massacre and uh. she looks like one eyed who now maybe im being harsh butttt thats not a great mask imo rip
i hope the special effectrs are a little better than this..
shes all like life is really hard for me and instead of suggesting the preferable option of the jeff the killer route and embracing ur new role as creepypasta killer the interviewer just goes "oh geeze that must be tough anyways talk about the guy who did this to u"
well im not a fan of his art i can say that haHAha cough
woo makeover montage! but yknow for the killer i think freddy had one a thosee
chucky too, i think
idk. some a them. it seems to be a thing in slasher movies
"look at me im ready to kill again" yadda yadda
we see art put on his makeeup and i figure we never see him without i honestly never imagined he. like. existed without the makeup and costume. but i guess he does
all his utensils are rusty as fuck cos why would they ever not be. clean and sharp blades never did a horror killer any good. u gotta give urself a CHALLENGE
inb4 one of these slices right through someone's bones at some point anyways
ew he made a cat o ninetails out of hair and scalpels. art really is an artiste
damn u gotta know with a last name like that if u name ur kid damien he's gonna end up directing horror movies
we cut back to the journalist whos being an asshole about the woman she just interviewed. gee i wonder what will happen
also love how shes fixing her own makeup. guess this channel doesnt have enough budget for a makeup artist shes like "hey if i ever end up looking like that kill me lol" GEE I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN!!!
SURPRISE! the woman with the face attacks her cos she was being so rude! (i assume)
(idk why shes doing it yet)
damn she really took it to heart i guess
i know my therapist says violent outbursts only cause more harm but that really made me feel better :) the tv lady is dead. i thought itd be art doing it but since god knows where hes at rn the final girl does make more sense
i guess she snapped
tense, dramatic music!
halloween!
hee hee hoo hoo drunk girl talk!
ok well i dont think that gels very well with the killer clown walking up to u, like, right now then again we havent seen art kill yet so WHO KNOWS this might be a case of total character assassination maybe art is rly nice and the real killer is who!girl up there who got disfigured by a totally unrelated .. oh wait she said his name was art the clown nvm
grasps bag with anime cloth tightening sound effect i always hated that in anime lol when someone is grabbed by the scruff and they play the LOUDEST sound effect of idk leather being grabbed? it sounds so unnatural
art is holding a plastic bag so it isnt right here either, now i look at it
damien likes his animus it seems
omg drunk people. my bane
hee hee hoo hoo let me hit on the murderclown while my friend disapproves
oh no he no-clipped!
wow they made it to a pizza place. art legit just. vanished and left them alone skellgirl's phone just died and they showed us so.. i kinda figure she'll stick around
cos why else would she have a dead phone, whats the point if she just instantly dies
art also wants some pizza.
hang on i saw u put those gloves on ur hands were PRISTINE what happened. did u dig in the dirt before coming in here, what
hes havin a staring contest with skellgirl now its like he wants her to do something but idk what
..charming
there ya go give it some ✨ pizzazz ✨
skellgirls like this guy is creepy i wanna leave and her bf is like ah yes let me drunkenly ask him for a piccy top tier normal girl behaviour def would not ask staff to call the police or show me the emergency exit, nah just get me a selfie for the gram potential death of me
she then harrasses him in a form of payback or something? idk
most italian american that ever italian americaned asks art if he wants some pizza
peeved. does not want pizza. (to be fair to pizzaman u walked into his establishment art cmon)
oh god what is he doing
..getting a gumball?
oh no its one of those plastic ball machine things so he got a ring i guess
impressing skellgirl round 2 a plastic ring from ur dirty hands as u flash her ur bloody teeth.
who could resist.
hell yeah i still got it
REALLY u had a drunk halloween party night and you eat ONE SLICE???? REALLY?? i mean it looks massive but still
jabrony mike's like i'll get rid of crusty the clown for u
the jabrony mike way idk new york
hes hitting him and dropping his g's is what im saying
OI MY BAG IS STILL IN THERE
ah nvm cheers
gross. eat ur pizza like a normal person.
someone slashed dawn (blond girl)'s tire oh no. 
oh skellgirls name is tara. t his is her sister she's calling cos dawns car is fucked aka "hi everyone its me, secondary main character", probably
tara tossed art's ring btw which, now we have her sister, i think means she'll probably die soon :c
also art left the toilet in the pizza place in A STATE n thats why he got kicked out. not just for harrassing tara and dawn. cos harrassing women isnt enough of a reason to kick a guy out of a place. hes a guy they do that!! cut him some slack
hi im smart i dont party if ur a guy who likes horor movies im ur ideal girl :) oh damien. cmon
nice horror movie lighting so far tho im a fan
Vic (the sister)s roommates come in and omg shes like, the only smart person who like, didnt party on halloween and actually studied! everyone else is like so totally dumb like wow.
hi were just gonna go at it right next to u so if u have a lil sister who needs picking up from the middle of creepsville now would be a good time to do it
we cut to the pizza place and a worker is looking for his boss, who he cant find. except his boss is currently in the frame. that little bit of glass peaking out from beneath the head-shaped-shadow on the left is the countertop. I'll leave it at that
j'like my art
idk why he's after this guy now, he didnt really do anything except work the nightshift and like, clean up his mess
meanwhile these two are sitting in tara's car waiting for her sister
GIRL why didnt you go in the pizza place like yeah art blew out the mens but the womens shoulda been fine
dawn's like go piss girl
randomn creepy janitor for no reason i stg if dawn calls for him like she did art
no girl in the year of our lord 2016 woulda gone OI CREEPY GUY MY FRIEND NEEDS A PISS DO U KNOW SOMEWHERE
no girl after the fuckin 70s would ask a random guy in the night for help!!!
good god damien consult ur mom on ur scripts if u got no one else but please ask SOMEONE
wow she doesnt even need to tara just goes for it.
thanks dawn
DAWN WHAT THE FUCK
my plot armor just left i sure hope im not dead by the time she returns also why would you say something disgusting about your friend if you think the guy is a massive creep
hes clearly gonna be a normal decent guy but cmon movie girls dont play around like that. they cant. too risky u might end up dead.
wheres art anyway he's done at the pizza place
oh no ur not tara!
why do we keep cutting back to the janitor oh cos hes listening to music so he cant hear dawn scream, okay
feels a little extra but go off i guess
tara hears an angry cat n i dont like this
..the hell is the point of that
she says to the corpse behind her
oh shes not a corpse shes just a crazy cat lady. oops
what does this building have plot significance
she says about this wrapped thing that is 100% not a daughter nor human
ok well i half expected it to be the angry cat and now im a little disappinted.
oh no im in a major city and im somehow unnerved i came across a chatty mentally unwell person woe is meeeee
ok tara actually does a great job of talking to her before skedaddling herself outta there so uh gj tara four for u
dramatic zoom in!!!! what does she seee????
TA DAAAA!! its me, hi, im the problem its me
(pls go out with me i gave u a dinky ring)
runs cos art doesnt look particularly inviting
his shoes dont honk upon every step im so disappointed.
nooo he got her! ...somewhere! i cant rly tell its very dark
tara win man i legit thought maybe he wouldnt attack her like all the others. i guess not
lil disappointed
maybe its cos she closed a door on him earlier or something idk
...is this jurassic park now not quite the right shot but ill take it
vic just havvin a time, listening to some radio the radio then informs her about art and his killing spree
if the stations for a county i would assume they'd drop the jolly happy halloween tone in favour of warning people of a real threat but idk im not american maybe u dont do that there
two people are dead so far but idk maybe thats standard fare for a big city or whatever
cant let it kill the halloween vibes
oh yay the janitor is still ok. maybe he can help
oh maybe not. QUICK JANITOR MAN SPRAY SOME RAID ON HIM
or rat poison idk
where the hell did he get that??
dont like what ur doin here art but im a big fan of ur lighting setup i gotta say.
...did he brush his teeth? theres no more blood on. on the teeth. not the rest of him. just the teeth
oh fucking hell i cant cap it nor do i want to but dawn is not dead i'll put it that way ugh pls dont turn into torture porn cmon
i can handle gore but fuck torture porn thats just excessive and gross
ew.
tara manages to get herself loose but its too late for dawn
how far is your fuckin sister good god why is she still not here!!!
tara where are u i bisected ur best friend in front of u pls respond
assaults him with a piece of wood i wish u had worse tara good god i havent been this much on the side of a final girl in a long time
..mainly cos slasher films are usually poorly written but. uh. well still
what the fuck then he just shoots her??? where did you get the gun??
ALSO, CHEATING
WOW
aww kitty :)
hi remember me i also live here
seriously this feels like cheating lol why does he have a gun
it jams so he walks off all huffily
still driving, probably lost, idk
the gun was in his big plastic bag of party tricks but seriously if he has a gun why doesnt he just shoot all of his victims. idk feels weird
anyways vic is at the building now
Majo: who brings a gun to a slasher knife film :(
exactly!!!
hee hee i know how to text so he just told vicky to go aroudn trhe back of the building through dawn's phone cos he added it to his bag of tricks. cos i guess thats a thing he does. collect weapons and phones.
i guess he wants the police to track him down all the time so he can escape from the morgue over and over
(the film opened with him doing that so. i guess hes undead, also. very jason voorhees of u art)
HAHA REMEMBER WHEN SELFIE guess the whole budget went to the dawn mannequin. thats not a bad effect
she looks surprisingly peaceful.
he kills tara after reloading so.. rip to her :(
ok well i was here to pick up my sister but it looks like she doesnt need a ride anymore so uhhhh i'll take my leave
oh wait no it was the crazy cat lady. does she have opinions on this all of a sudden
hiiieeeeeeee fuckin hell we've got half the movie left
still exists
i kinda dont like the murderer in the building can you pest control him outta here :(
i know ur supposed to look crazy but i kinda want ur outfit. whatever thast shawl is at least it looks super cosy give me it
oh no!
byeeeeeee (rip that guy)
yes yes i think u got it. i think the phone is dead. u can stop now. cmon. u got other matters to attend to.
like her. all gormless. doesnt know the building is infested with rats and dead people.
but mostly rats.
someone stole this woman's babydoll cos theyre just that evil like that feels worse than murder. including bringing a gun to a knife fight. come on
art you devil. you cant do that. thats so mean
..movie what are we going for here hes being gentle with the doll but its just cos he's miming taking care of a baby, we see art mime all the time
so i figure this is just him doing that, then killing the insane woman because she let her guard down and OOoooooooOOOO spooky gore clown movie!!!!
i'll still be super disappointed if he does that though. thats so predicatble and lame
never talk to me or my daughter ever again
where is this going aaa im so tense.
okay yeah lets go the freudian way why not
new car who dis
seriously who dis oh hes an exterminator, just like that guy i kept calling a janitor. the bald one. his name was mike
he's also hella new york..ian cos of course he is
ANSUH YA PHONE!!
oh nooo she calls dawn and hears her phone ring. whatever is she gonna find.
at least take the extinguisher for protection cmon its right there.
DUN DUN its the dead dawn prop again cos they spent a lot of money on that prop and they sure as hell are gonna get their money's worth out of it. so yeah vic knows whats up now
took her long enough
like ohmygawd that was,,, so gross,,,, great acting there lady
bring back tara i miss tara at this point im hoping our final girl is vinny the exterminator cos vic has totally lost me with her obliviousness, bad acting and let me mention again: her atrocious wig
jesus christ she got shot in the face like five times how is she alive!! i mean please take back the main character role from your sister but god DAMN
o hthat wasnt tara. also the lady with the doll is alive but in a bad state so. thanks art for being predictable.
✨ aesthetic ✨
but in a horror, liminal spaces kinda way
oh hes wearing the doll ladies' titties. i was wondering why her chest was like. just red lmk if someone does this look for drag race and i might tune in again
he's really feeling himself.
they call him a clown but he acts more like a mime
he doesnt talk he's black and white he like. gestures a lot
hes all like UGH i lost her!! but its his own fault cos he was too busy feeling glamorous
theyre rly proud of this shot cos this is like the third time theyve shown it. i wanna know who played art. i dunno how i feel about the movie as a whole yet but hes doing a great job
WHERE DA FUCK ARE YA MIKE
this shot has also been shown like five times. someone was mighty impressed with their ability to show a closeup of an eye.
vinny was about to leave but then he goes back cos god damn he just likes mike too much to abandon him. (his name is not vinny. idk what it is. he needs a name its vinny now)
hi im here to die comically and possibly graphically pls dont vinny i want u to be the final girl i dont like vicky
hi lil doll im yer daddy now
god dammit. rip vinny hey remember how i said one of those rusty knives was gonna cut through bone somehow. yeah.
that was now.
now we're stuck with this troglodyte.
bitch where did u get that was that in ur bag of tricks?
did u rob jigsaw? hm?
is that what u did?
stop smiling!!! how hard is it to not smile when ur supposed to be scared!! good god
omg mike lives
lemme take a moment to cry at my dead sister cos i have some minutes to spare
art hits her cos she was wasting time like i get that shes so upset when she sees tara that she forgets the situation shes in but i feel like if ur in a life and death situation like this your brain straight up wont let you register what you're looking at until youre out of immediate danger
"is that my si-" "nope not right now we gotta get out or we're dead cmon lets move"
i feel like older horror movies only do this right cos they dont give characters a moment to process this shit but honestly its more realistic than oowoo time for me to have a little breakdown at my sister's body
omg mike to the rescue whodathought. not me but its welcome
wait mike is also a bad actor, i forgot
jesus christ what is the casting on this
mike's appearance does mean return of the new york accent tho so that's fun at least
idk why opensubs put g's in this sentence this man did not utter a single g in his entire life art is a total fuckiN maniac not a fucking maniac cmon get it right
what kinda camo is that on the right. high vis orange with camo splotches. i need to know the occassion Concrete Jungle
thats what i'd name it
mike is dead and vicky is like ugh i so do not need this right now mind u shes right up to the exit. get out you stupid bint
thriving, flourishing, staying in his lane, hydrated, moisturised
idk fuckin hitting a door like an idiot at this point im wishing for a bad ending ngl
she gets out but then tries to get back in??
YOU DONT HAVE TIME TO YELL FUCKING RUN GOOD GOD
art is still vibing. he cant reach her so hes just honking a bike horn at her lol
art manages to run vicky down but is then apprehended by the police. its pretty obvious from this point that vicky is the disfigured woman who is interviewed at the start of the film so. i guess he dies now and somehow runs out of the morgue cos they said that at the start of the film
AYY IM WALKIN ERE seriously all the extras in this film have stupidly thick accents lol
we couldnt afford a morgue set so please accept this abadoned building we rented for one evening instead.
he looks at mike but instantly gets bored and decides to look at art's corpse instead
oh no hes lookin right at him! dun dun dun.
omg art controls the building's power. somehow.
unperturbed
more dun dun dun.
haha ur so funny vicky without ur face and ur strong thumbs that could drive eyes into skulls :)
oh sorry this wasnt opensubs. it was explosiveskull. thank u for ur work mr explosiveskull
ahh this is the guy who played art! he did good. very expressive. and lanky
like doug jones but more affordable.
that was really fuckin mediocre though i gotta be honest. i think the sequel is more well remembered? so fingers crossed
id give this one a 3/10
all 3 points to art's antics though i hate how he has 0 backstory including how the fuck he's immortal somehow