im gonna try to watch renfield but i'll probably fall asleep
look its tyler from the menu and megan except hes the main character in this one. dont die renfield
(its his name i guess)
do they work at walmart whats with the jackets
what the fuck he has an english accent what is htis oh he is from there. first time ive seen him play english
his mum has a credit for about a boy but its extremely minor and theres nothing else there so hes not a nepo baby
which ngl im kinda expecting for every actor nowadays when theyre suddenly in fucking EVERYTHING
hes in a talk group for people in destructive relationships (so not walmart survivors then) and haha his is quirky cos his is with nicholas cage
dont pause the film rob who are you fuckin kuzco
haha geddit its dracula
except nicholas cage is there instead of bela lugosi
and nicholas hault instead of. idk who played this guy
oh shit cage just straight up guillermos him (from. from what we do in the shadows.)
(he makes him his familiar)
ayyyy look at that they even use the same term
...o..hkay..
...okaaaaaaaayyyyy.....
i have nothing to say i just think this is funny dracool is fighting some vampire hunters and rob is late to the party
oops
priest made a holy circle or somethin but seems pretty surprised at that himself
hey its idk. he looks a lil like timothy olyphant
dracula is like u cant kill me renfield everyone will hate you forever
so yeah abusive relationship
hey remember how i said emos are old enough to make movies now well theyre also old enough to run costuming and makeup departments
we go back to the abused partners meeting and the girl goes he loves ska and this guys like FUCK SKA whys ska such a hated genre.. i mean i dont really listen to it but it seems really inoffensive to me idk
bitches dont know about doe maar tho
doe maar had some bangers
anyway then she defends it or something idk to me ska is upbeat off-beat music about topical. uh. topics
or.. being in love
look man my only experience with ska is doe maar i'll shut up
i know im right about the upbeat off beat tho!!!
anyway heres Marl =) the therapist or whatever people who run these programmes are called
no wait that says marc =) my bad
hes like hee hee i only came to this to get people for mASTERRRRR damn rob, cold
btw everyone just calls him renfield
ohhhh he means their abusers!!!
thats good
eats cg cockroach
fuckin subs lackin this should say [ska music playing from inside] at the bottom
i turned on subs for the hard of hearing and i got what i want but also that is very specific guess the deaf will just have to assume thats ska
how much u wanna bet dracula is gonna kill all of em and the film justifies it cos they like ska
i mean thats fine with me and funny. i just wonder if its gonna do that
anyway turns out that girls boyfriend stole coke so i guess the ska thing is a ruse or somethning. Renfield is talking like hes a superhero which has me veeeeery concerned pls dont go that route only kickass pulled that off in a way i liked and i was a teenager back then i fuckin hate superhero tropes please please dont lean into it too hard
they think hes there to get the coke back cos they stole it and stuff
the music changes to famous orchestral music so you know SHITS GOIN DOWN cockroach fueled renfield be strongk. beating them up so dracula can eat them i figure
woo cool fight scene with scrawny brit vs giant hitman guy with machete! this movie does feel very early 2010s but not in a bad way. at least not so far
hey guys its sonic. right. right, this guy voiced sonic. zach whatever
that one also him. whatever his name is in this
renfield is holding his own but also hes kinda disemboweled so hes struggling a bit
damn last time i saw that was killer clowns from outer space. with a k
this new christopher mintz-plasse cos christopher mintz-plasse is now 34 and therefor too old for these kinda roles hits on a cop all disgustingly 
(this guy) 
also this guy. to stay with the kick-ass theme
shes all like i wish i got to solve murders gee i wonder if she will.
sonics name is teddy f. lobo in this so i guess.. he'll.. stick around.. hes also kinda christopher mintz-plasse in kickass cos, hes part of a gang, and hes got a red supercar
um
and hes really uncool
so. yeah!
the family hes a part of is called lobo cos lobo means wolf and wolves are COOL!
i wonder who directed this
>chris mckay
>also directed the lego batman movie
ok well thats a surprise
he also wrote honor among thieves
damn
and edited the lego movie...
hes done some really good stuff
oh no its like when the bear in cocaine bear! (teddy is pelting the cops with coke)
teddy. haha. the
the bear is
teddy the coke bear
Amy: (i.. i misread that as "Fuck. Canada!")
(maybe if it was snow he hit him with?)
cop lady threw her baton and hit him cos shes JUST THAT GOOD 
they were like alright boys hospital is abandoned time to make it look haunted as fuck with all the people who died here
ooooooh green and orange lighting! monster lighting. i like it note to self should draw the kaibutsu girls in green lighting..
dracula looks pretty fucked up presumably cos he hasnt eaten in a while renfields gotta learn the power of friendship to leave this abusive relationship
every disillusioned fan of nostalgia critic in the 2020s dracula explains he needs innocent people to eat cos criminals taste gross
we stan a bisexual manhunter (hes explaining hes fine with eating anyone as long as theyre 'pure')
daaaaamn look at his kick-ass throne of bloodbags im into it
he hurts renfield cos hes unhappy with what renfield brought him and somehow still manages to get him to say sorry for it
one of the things he'll eat. pls bring him nuns i wanna see a vampire hunting nunoh dracules blood can heal the wounded so he heals renfield
eanwhile this fuck is in jail is he gonna be the sidekick or something
hes immediately outta jail despite confessing cos his family is just That Good
(tm) lady cop is angry
quincy (lady cop) busted teddy lobo but this guy is like uhhh ur like, level 1 police officer quincy, which isnt strong enough to take on a level 10 mob so we gotta let him go (what is this logic)
heheheh
quincys a cop cos her dad was. women cant pursue a high stakes carreer unless their dad did, too. thats the only way it makes sense. women default to simple jobs or homemaking without a cool-ass dad who did the thing they do before them!
this guys like i am your surrogate dad he literally said i promised your dad id take care of you
thats so unprofessional jesus christ
then again this is an american police force and from what ive seen idk if professional is even a thing there
yes yes her dad was a cop WE GET IT
DONT TALK ME I ANGY
hi its me quincys fbi best friend do you see my jacket? no? let us reangle the camera so you can see my jacket to clarify im fbi
for the people who cant read quincy spells it out
oh shit she's her sister!! oh the lobos killed their dad. GOTTA HAVE AN EMOTIONAL REASON TO CARE
not just. fuck these evil people to make the town better
nice high fade rando
lookin like pumm from arty and pumms
i think this crime family has a matriarch
yeah it does she explains the lobos are known for how violent they are. people fear em even tho theyre not the biggest or richest
id make a girlboss joke but im scared.
meanwhile renfield scoping out innocent people all i-dont-wanna-do-this-y
nuns! yay!
why would you believe it!
meanwhile teddy's like ive played payday i know how to do a heist
renfield takes out a handkerchief all dramatically whenever hes ready to take victims i bitch but this movie is very funny so far
teddy be rude
hes like tell everyone we own u and ill let you go so shes obviously like nah fam
i guess teddy never shot anyone
renfield interferes cos he just cant help himself, maaaaan also red/blue lighting!! hell ye
cool actionscene where quincy and renfield take on the whole heist group i kinda hope teddy gets evil-ed'ed cos that'd be fun
i think he could be a fun vampire antagonist
bondiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing its like miss officer and mister truffles if mister truffles was a vampire familiar.
shes all like oh ur military thats why you know how to fight and renfields like nahh lady lemme take that out you gave me and shove it up my ass
good save good save fuckin hell hes even got the emo haircut
i mean im not mad at it but god damn
omg look at u renfield doin the good u always dreamt of even tho u came here to get innocent people killed
thats beside the point
ORANGE AND BLUE LADS THE OLD STAPLE
THE OLD TRUE AND TRIED
cant go wrong with an orange and blue!!!
no take her home she'll kill ur master im sure of it (they did the freeze frame again. dracula talked to him telepathically)
lovin the lipstick mister acula it really brings the whole look together
huh. nother thing it has in common with what we do in the shadows is taking over the world an old dracula thing...?
im sure i dont need to tell u cage is doing a fantaaaaastic job
hes so hammy its perfect
i'd flinch away so hard at dracula tryna put his arm around me he'd probably kill me just for that so gj rob
huh, the Fall Out Boy sixteen candles video looks different from what i remember.. also deadass im puttin money down they used this colourscheme for that video.
RED AND GREEN I TOLD YOU
I KNOW WHAT IM ABOUT LADS
... back to the movie
look man just put an ad in the newspaper theres prolly some other vampire you can become the familiar to
can you imagine going to any kind of group session for whatever reason and the lighting is fucking green the therapist is like its the mood lighting! but im bookin it out of there no sir this is monster lighting idc if its jigsaw or vampires or what but someone isn't walking out of this building tonight and that is NOT what im here for
oh this is the first time he came in i guess!
mark =) is understanding but i dont appreciate the two snickerin in the back that seems very disrespectful ..what if theyre vampire hunters. just like in what we do in the shadows with the gruop that guillermo joins
(id stop bringing up wwdits)
(but i dont want to)
kevin is goin through some of his own stuff
ooh guys do you see that? do you see it? is that what i think it is?
is that..
the IKEA Regolit Pendant Lamp Shade Lampshade 45cm White Paper 701.034.10 PUP10??? Also known as....
A HANGING LAMPSHADE???
(..its. theyre putting out hints for an unlikely plotpoint that will happen later in the film. also known as lampshade hanging. so. so there)
(i read too much tvtropes.)
wait. this is more of a checkhovs gun, actually
FUCK
then again it is unlikely renfield will somehow beat dracula with the powers who gave him so i'll take it
i had to go to google for that skit n everything
mark =) gives Renfield a way to defeat dracula and make himself stronger
what is ur hair doing oh nvm it wasnt a flashback he just does that every time he feels bad
omg instead of eating the ant he gave it to this kids farm! growth
movies doin a montage btw. of renfield selfcaring
meanwhile quinn is like im gonna catch the lobos lads quincy
renfield got a haircut and now he looks like tyler did in the menu :) I hate it :))))
the sweaters ok tho
nvm thats a good sweater gj ro bn
b
rob.
oh kyle.
meanwhile teddy's mums like WHO IS THIS FUCK
damn this guy didnt even get a character name. i hope he got a decent salary
dont make that face at ur mum its weird
lobo and his cronies end up at the hospital cos they tracked renfield
teddys like IM TEDDY FUCKIN LOBO and dracula is like WELL IM NICHOLAS CAGE
is. is he actually gonna get evil ed'ed?
renfields like hello quincy do u wanna like, be friends and hang out
but then dracula was like son u got prior commitments
omg doormats like these would be my main business if i was a vampire what a great idea
whats with the 60s ass decor ..when are we anyway
oh i thought he had icecubes in there but nah
god damn look at that face of sass
the decor team: so what do you want us to do the director: i dont care
the head of decor who had their happiest years in the 60s: :lockon:
ORANGE GREEN AGAIN LADS
like the lime orange tic tacs
also realise now dracula looks a lot better when he shouldnt.
he's totally recruited teddy hasnt he oh no wait he already looks like that here
anyway sassy dracula cage and YOLO waffles
dracula's like hey renfield remember how ur a mook and i saved you? stop tryna tell me im an abuser
hes delivering his lines in a truly nicholas cage-y way remmeber when in kick-ass big daddy is on fire and hes tryna instruct hitgirl what to do?
thats how he's delivering these lines
...
maybe i should do kick-ass on here some time
Rikki: i wish i knew someone named kyle
Rikki: OH DO KICK ASS
i havemt watched that in so long
me neither!
i love kickass ngl
its like..
Rikki: when i did watch it was in a small movie theater and no one was in there excepot some of my anime club friends and we were 14
Rikki: so u know how that went
i was gonna take a piccy of the graphic novels of kick-ass cos its the only american comic series i own in full lol but theyre still back in the netherlands
COS THEYRE TOO HEAVY
Rikki: cant u just go back there real quick?
Rikki: on ur bike?
i saw kick-ass 2 in theatres and fuckin hell it was so bad :(
Rikki: oh noo
bike is bein repaired right now rip
Rikki: if only u went in an empty theater with only ur anime club friends
gotta wait for them to fix it and then get it blessed again before i can travel the oceans Rikki: oh no x2
Rikki: ill just imagine the photo very hard
thank u rikki i appreciate it
hows he gonna - oh yeah mirror apparently renfield had a daughter and wife back in the old ages who he left behind so dracula is weaponizing that
uses self help book like a bible
hes like cant just hold it up guess i gotta read the scripture for it to work
hes doin his best but dracula is like lol
im very proud of rob for standin up for himself despite the intimidation but i just wanna say i love the colours in this shot this is very aesthetically pleasing ...
bar the black shadow
OHH THATS HTE POINT
he looks really out of place!!
look at me understanding the movie
omg the book belongs to a church. as in mark =) is part of a church, i assume dracule is like OF COURSE
Jesus thats the ska man? i know we saw him but i thought it was gonna be one of the other guys
anyway this girl's happy about it
you most definitely should not. also i wish i could coordinate that much orange together like you did.
oh this is the girl who complained about ska i guess their boyfriends were ska crook bros thats how quincy finds out about the support group
renfield interrupts this girl every time he comes into one of their meetings lol at least the movie isnt making fun of what shes confessing, she just gets interrupted
renfields all like cmon girls we gotta go or my vampire master will kill you without saying the vampire master will kill you part out loud
oh mark =) i fear for your life :(
aaaa
aaaa
AAAAAAAAAAA
Oh mark =) now you've done it :(
wow he put on his top hat and everything
but what if theyre his emotional support items mark =)
cage is like thanks for the innocents even though they werent so great
to renfield here have this for your perusal
whatever tha may be
mark =) is tryna not to judge him so allowed dracula to introduce himself
i mean i buy it, if u did a support group thingie would you judge the guy who shows up in full costume and acts all theatrical?
i wouldnt
the whole point is that everyone feels welcome, right?
...
in a vampire infested era support groups would probably be an exclusively online affair.
dracula was about to say his name but then this guy went HEY YOURE- and dracula is like I DIDNT PRACTICE DRAMA FOR 300+ YEARS FOR SOME NEW ORLEANIAN SUPPORT GROUP MAN TO INTERRUPT ME
like, he takes it very seriously
hes like ffs now i gotta upstage you
NO
dracula kills the support group while we watch renfield fly back in slo-mo and its to indicate how fast dracula is being but ill be honest the cut backs to slo-mo renfield look stupid
noooooooooooooo mark =) !!!!!!! rip :(
draculas like so uh yeah ima go do this to everyone fuck you renfield
and its ur fault
yeah good job bitches youre not late whatsoever
wow that is quite the height discrepancy
oh no quincy (rebeccas) partner is in with the lobos!!!!!
daaaamn she got dressed up for this oh the leader of the lobos put this together cos her son is missing
oh kyle.
wasnt even quincy who said it this time. so all the cops are in with the lobos except quincy
quincys like yeah nah im gonna RUN when all the lobos wanted was renfield
idk what shes gonna do with him cos she cant turn him in since her whole precinct is corrupt
but now the police force is the villain
makes... more sense lbr
oh wow teddy really is getting evil ed-ed
dracula powertrips and then asks teddy yo what do u think of that dont think he listened lol hes obviously gonna say yes
...or he goes hey do u know plenty of fish cos my mom is single
very fair question.
upside down 60s aesthetic!
she is DETERMINED
oooh. i mean impressive he made the breakfast
do u think he bought that blanket somewhere or he crocheted it himself question if you kill someone and then you do stuff afterwards do all of them become murder things
murder-dinner
murder youtube binge
murder making the bed
begrudgingly eats murder cookie
psycho-analyzes the cop
shes like yeah im angry but unlike you i cant take out my anger- and suddenly i understand why this movie has middling reviews
sorry renfield, probably shouldnt have made her a cop
go for firefighter or ambulance personell or some shit BUT NOT COP
i still like the movie! im not faulting it for that at all but i think that might be why it didnt do very well? unless the american viewpoint on cops is more positive than the idea I got online
when it comes to people who would watch vampire movies lol
shes like ur still a mook
[sad] [does not want to be a mook]
her fbi sister calls and is like we found blood that links one a your cases to cases all over the world omg this guy is geriatric at the least
hey look its it-guy! and some random lady.
oh yeah i forgot about the whole bug eating thing.. ugh hes gonna eat some kids pet stick insects isnt he.
noooo the ant farm lol he looks so bad here
yes thank you he's planning to steal christmas this december Majo: I missed a lot (will eventually reread) but lemme tell u priestess, I am really enjoying the murder liveblog :)
THANK YOUUUUU im having fun blogging it cos this movie is actually fun to watch c:
Majo: FINALLY A GOOD MOVIE FOR THE PRIESTESS TO ENJOY
yknow in case u wanna listen to some dubstep right now!
action montage while trap music plays (its not dubstep i guess idk some kid is sorta screamrapping now)
..... interesting lyric to succeed "mom and dad please let me breathe"
subtitles for the hard of hearing are actually distracting me from the scene OTL oh.
well thats a nice message
thank you uh
yungblud
why the need to mention the position though.. why do you know that
the cg budget is looooooooooooow the effect struggle unfortunately
but the rest is good!
the ant farm consuming gave him enough power to pin two crooks with the arms of two other crooks to save quincy god damn
omg its pumm!!
she beats him with a disembodied arm.. its still cool but itd be cooler if it wasnt cgi
im a nerd for practical effects i guess
look man if its really there u can fool my brain if a computer did it all my brains gonna do is go thats not real thats not real thats not real
oh i saw this in a tumblr gifset!
hes goin down. down
in an earlier round (interpretative orange lines of spatter)
hes like take my hand of friendship bex (rebecca)
(idk if nicknaming rebeccas bex is a thing where u are it is here ive found)
grunt of acceptance
the commisar or whatevers like im outta this corruption business so u know hes gonna be dead within the minute
byeeeeeee
omfg its teddy!
hi mom im just like chris mintz-plasse arent you proud?? call me evil mist
jesus christ ben schwartz is a full ten years older than chris mintz plasse
oh chris. this coulda been your part! what happened
aw he fell off a little bit. maybe hes focusing on other things
someones proud
idk about the us part buddy
dont kill her drac shes got a cool smoky voice and i like her
shell taste bad anyway cos shes evil or whatever
wow that water good on the film for not making it look better i guess
bondiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
..................do americans say twat???? i want you to know she pronounced it really weirdly
ive never heard anyone say it that way here
tw-ah-t
brits say twet
took me out of it
dracule does the telepathy thing again
woo another montage!
so theyre at a reptile shop or a fishery
one a those
thank u subtitles. It's MCRs na na na. for what its worth
it didnt say that but i deduced that from the subs so I guess they are good enough!
remmeber how emo (girls) were judged for their interests and music and shit and now its cool.
cos its "old" and "vintage".
yeah.
i hope teenage kpop girlies kill anyone who judges them for their interests.
you can have a little murder. you deserve it
its the final gauntlet
haha puns! anyway ben just snorted a centipede i mean teddy
jfc dracula turned half the gang into familiars, i figure to show renfield how unimportant he is woo more action scenes!
wonder if the golden eyes are a twilight ref or they couldnt thnk of a colour that made more sense
i mean green or red woulda worked too..
if renfield and teddy knock each other out simultaneously. i stg
teddy's like omg were destined to be rivals and renfield is like dude i dont know you and teddy takes that very personally hes like IVE SEEN THE WATTPAD FICS YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE SAYING
(do people still use wattpad? ...am i behind already? i sincerely dont know)
idk man the live bug eating thing would make me have to think about it pretty hard i think id say no
i dont want to eat live insects just so i can punch someones head off
i feel like thats not gonna come in handy enough times to be worth it
draculas like oi bex i hurt your sister if you want me to heal her join me well he said the lobos did it
meanwhile teddy and renfield are fighting and renfield just ate a idfk a waterbug or something either way that kick is gonna hurt
yeah that didnt think anything in this film would remind me of kickass-2 but this did.
and yes it reminded me of the worst scene in kick-ass 2.
jesus.
tldr teddy is down for the count
hi let me pretend i joined dracula when i clearly didnt
omg the hand of deception!!! oh they were the switch to the shades but they dont work oh noooo
and she had a line about light and everything rip
oh they opened anyway, nvm theyre in the dark now so hes only a little hurt
more fightiiiiiiiiiiing
draculas all like theres way more renfields in this world than rebeccas and renfield takes that as a positive rather than a negative by thinking of his talk group buddies its quite sweet
yeh remember! #
hes all like ur a narcissist and use all my power! hes covered in vampire blood thats why he looks like that
ye
YE
YE!!
YEEE!!!
Oops dracula angy
good thing quincy made a ring outta coke before then. cos any powder will do i guess
heheheh
i mean wiccan tumblr stole bones from graves but i'll take praise for tumblr any day.
then they torture dracula to death!
i feel like youd just want him gone forever asap but you guys do you i guess dracula isnt too bothered
renfields like were justified in our joyful killing because DUDE we dont know how it works!!!! :I sure. sure movie. you go and do your gory whatever
lobo lady gets normal!arrested
also not too bothered
wooo the sisters are okay and friends again
sweets please wash your face cmon
oh i like that! hes all like i gotta go pay for my sins my only redemption is severe punishment and shes like i think you can teach people that you can always still do the right thing its so common for characters like him to die cos to redeem themselves they have to
so this is nice. i like this change
he joined another group of abuse survivors
oh nvm its just me not recognising this is a flashback.. these are the same people
never mind they didnt die. this is the present.
oh you can straight up bring a corpse back? i thought it just healed wounds well whatever THATS THE JOKE i suppose
Mark =) mighta been sent somewhere he didn't like.
that was renfield that was really fun and cute!
I loved it
I'd nominate it for a boomer halloween night :) alongside tucker and dale
Mono: i've been meaning to watch this since i've always found renfield such an interesting character! so i didn't really look through the liveblog (because spoilers) YET but... nominate 2!!!
i think youd really like it mono c:
Acea: It been 350+ messages, i cant read through all that