Pearl
(2022)

its friday im bored lets watch a movie
tonight its pearl, the sequel to X first off i love the poster. i'd put that on my wall
[OH ALSO SPOILERS FOR ALL OF X.] so for those of u who dont know, Pearl was the main villain in X, which takes place in the 60s. During that time she is an old woman who JSUT WANTS TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND WANTED and when she cant she just. fuckin. kills
the film mainly tackles the issues with free love which was a big thing at the time and also the opposite of that, eg. very strict. marital. rules idfk you know what i mean. religious celibacy until marriage or whatever
mia goth played the main character, maxine, whom pearl has an obsession with cos she looks a lot like she did when she was young.
maxine says NO MAM IM A STAR IM NOTHIN LIKE YOU
the joke is theyre played by the same actress. pearl is mia goth in an old suit. so. this is mia goth as pearl. but young
so uh.
lets. lets watch its a24! singlehandedly keepin creativity in cinema alive
my feelings on x are mixed so idk if i'll like this film but god damn if im not curious jfc its like im watchin old yeller
im joking but its very much the vibe they are going for with this intro, down to the way the intro credits appear on screen pearl is dancin cos shes just. like. really feeling her look today DID I JUST SENSE YOU VIBIN IN HERE? YOU BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN VIBIN PEARL if someone made that face at me i would totes let them kill the entire film crew of a porn flick once the 60s roll around, its fine. you deserve a little treat you poor thing what the shit theyre german???
the mum has an accent to her german, you can tell shes struggling with it a little
wonder where shes from pearl is like cant decide yet if i wanna be a disney princess or a serial killer just yet sigh huh the main actress is a producer on this
the film seriously has old disney/musical vibes, its pretty neat this all coulda been avoided if drama club had been a thing in the 1910s
(fwiw maxine from x also wanted to be a star)
oh pearl just killed a goose cos it threw off her groove which is not very disney princess of her
unless she's goin for kuzco i suppose
oh she fed it to Theda, her crocodile. which she still has when X rolls around! pearl does have a dad but he has the presence of the dad from texas chainsaw massacre.
just. a lil less dusty. oh she might already know the man shes married to in x
hes off to the warrrrr
cos its 1918888888 ok so spanish flu is goin around (isnt that familiar) which might explain why the mum is all PEARL DONT GO PLACES and like. whatever happened to the dad wooo back to didney atmosphere! subtle. oh no, a man!!!!!! Oh no he's hot! kinda he gives her the frame of a movie she just watched after she told him she likes watching the dancers
itd be cute if she hadnt just told him she has a fiance overseas
anyway he said hed like to see her on the screen some day so her day is made oh no she lost the frame :( idk why shes doing this but im sure the scarecrow visual wont come back later.
oh shes just trying to feel her disney princess self again in the creepiest goddamn way possible the scarecrow also has the creepiest fucking face for no reason dances passionately with scarecrow to forget about losing her film frame
jfc good to know pearls been sexually pressed for like. sixty years dont tell anyone mr scarecrow cos im married returns home after sexually assaulting a scarecrow
also: tophat get!
this movie was directed by ti west and honestly, mr west, i just wanna know why. ok a24 we dont need u to do another one a those films this better stop at pearl thinking "gee dad u sure are motionless and seemingly dont feel pain" oh okay
oh she lets go when he starts breathing heavy
the film just kinda goes oh btw dont forget pearl is fuckin unhinged
in every scene her mum is all like be strong pearl be strong for germany and pearl is like UGH IM OFF TO BED
oh mama also went KEINE SUPPER FUR DICH PEARLCHEN
(she didnt say pearlchen. i just thought thatd sound funny.)
pearls wish is to get away from the farm and become famous, which we know is a lost cause cos she owns the farm in X.
so. rip to that dream hi hello were here for the disney musical?? oh shes howards (pearl's husband) sister
also those are the bluest eyes i have ever seen her mum in law is like take the pig ruth and pearls mum is like NO I AM STRONG I DONT NEED YOUR AID
(they do)
(they do need aid) her sis in law is like omg i wanna audition for this chrismis dance troupe and pearl obvs goes me toooo so now theyre gonna go n secretly try out
this scene is too cheerful undoubtedly the next scene is gonna make me super uncomfortable her name is mitsy and she said skedaddle i love her now bye talks to cow in vain hope she could still be a didney prisness i need this poster.
oh just noticed the actresses name is theda
ha pearl met up with the projector guy again and her dress is kinda farmsy cute but the fuckin top hat girl why
gets her in the mood i guess
wtf he just lives up there? with the projector?? was that a thing??? yeah my dude that results in her killing like five people and giving her husband a heart attack so, im not sure this is great advice (the kill to dont fear the reaper is so good tho)
ugh fuck that reminds me.
its not the 60s during X. its the 70s.
my bad
i get disco times and hippie times mixed up hes showing her a movie she hasnt seen before and gee this sure doesnt look ominous. i think from this u can guess what hes showing her
jeez dude. this came outta nowhere. creep hes clearly trying to rope her into making movies like this but pearl is not a fan oh nvm. he called the films reality and that was her response
nvm then
she says god i wish my parents were dead and creep goes ??huhwha
doesnt really go anywhere tho yes please leave hes a fuckin weirdo pearl hears her mum crying in bed. dont have to be strong for germany if nobody can see you aggressively wheels dad out to catch some rays been a while since we did a person ominously starin outta window shot but here we are! are u for real did u think this through yeah uhhhh i dont think euthanasia by alligator is the most human way to go about it are you trying to feed your dad to the gator? i need your help in the kitchen pearl GOD i have to do everything myself in this house her mum is like life is pain and suffering pearl just deal w/ it
i guess leading an unfulfilling life just runs in their genes omg theda is gonna be a mom! congrats theda. oh i guess theda is not the gator from x. its prolly this one i mean, it kinda could be her. she'd be old as balls. but still stealing a gator egg isnt very disney princess of you pearl, says charlie the cow
she breaks the egg in anger :( cos she was thinking of her husband who is still at war which is why shes stuck at the farm.
poor gator bebe. did nothin wrong. pearl is like mum im going to audition for a dance troup tomorrow her mum says no and pearl retorts with but mum, yolo her mum is like i found the script i know what u do when im not in the scene i mean yes but i dont think reacting in anger and locking her up is the way to go about it. jfc her mum straight up says youre evil and youre gonna do bad shit mum then proceeds to traumadump on her daughter
(cos he needs constant care) haha damn pearl
quite ballsy to amit that after her mum just stabbed the table they end up getting into a scuffle and her mums dress catches fire from the fireplace
after pearl says some of maxine's lines verbatim oh she does try to save her. thats a pot of water. bet her mum didnt expect that the poor dad :( oh she just. runs to this fucker lil imagine spot of her as a moviestar
oh it turns into a nightmare. the audience has her parents in it, and her husband she sure looks comfortable she left her dad sitting at the dinner table the whole night
god this is hurting me
at least she genuinely looks like shes upset she left him there meanwhile projectorman lookin like an extra in a panic at the disco video shes like heres my dad! and u can see projectorman rethinking his life decisions still rethinking those life decisions oh her mum is still alive btw she just. dragged her into the basement. and projectorguy is hearing some noises and wants to check it but pearl is all like naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah its fine shes all like hey projectorguy meet my animals! they tell me i can be a princess if i wish hard enough
shes been lying to him and hes catching on pearl. is. a bit odd. and he wants to get out. aww when she makes that face i wouldnt mind if she killed him and fed him to charlie or whatever.
(i kinda wouldnt mind in general tbh hes creepyyyy) love the fuckin marketing man face hes making while he says this
(shes yelling at him) HOW DID YOU GET THERE SO FAST DID YOU TELEPORT ouchie. shes got some minor unaddressed anger issues. ok bit of a gorey shot but the wideshot of her angrily stomping away with him flat in the foreground made me laugh ffs pearl leave ur dad alone
oh she just washed him and hes clearly really scared of her :( you look very pretty. the bow doesnt really match but i feel like if u pointed that out to her shed kill you with a hairpin or somethin shes holding a pillow case and just said "i know you'll look down on my proudly" and well its. at least its not the gator, i guess. Lou: i mean. speaking as a theatre kid with too much ambition for my own good. slay.
i like that she stayed kind to her father, in her own twisted way
hahahaha omg youre so right
oh they also dont show her dad's death! so they clearly wanted to set it apart from the other deaths.
such as projector guy. who pearl dumps into the lake behind her house. and then she says this.
as in, ambitious theatre kids, not omg lou i totally think you would feed people to gators
Lou: would it get me a role???
maybe if u name the gator and it comes to u when u call thats a way to phrase it.
she did cut ties with everything at home so i figure she feels pretty free now
Lou: ive never agreed more with a horror movie killer tbh its time for the auditions and we see a girl run off crying (who just auditioned) so that bodes well mitsy keeps gossiping but pearl is all like im in the ZONE dont get me out of my ZONE mitsy asks to switch places with her which im sure that wont impact the auditions tho i cant imagine how mitsy says something nice to pearl and she gets like, a visible sims 🧍🧍 ++ above her head audition time! also: whys it in a church
oh its a christmas thing. maybe thats why she slowmo walks onto the stage like shes about to telepathically blow their heads up instead of perform a dance for them woooo ragtime!
kinda spooky to see her go from dead serious to :D her imagine spot is... interesting starts vibin
youre still dancing idk if now is the right time kill them. kill them now
go THEDA and she can burst in through the door like the shark from that junji ito comic she wont leave the stage :(
she also imagines the judges as the three people she killed and her husband [WAILING] Lou: i know she's probably gonna go on a rampage but i feel so bad for her right now
Lou: like. i've been in her exact spot. it hurts.
i feel bad for her too honestly
n i know what she does in the future oh mitsy if u got the role u better leave now.
Lou: mitsy run
Lou: even if you didn't get the role run
.. yknow what
ur probably right mitsys like let me make u something to drink and she gets them fuckin milk.
its the thought that counts i guess
Lou: who said it wasn't hers
i
uh
well.
didnt consider that.
she did that mighty fast then Lou: i'm so sorry pearl opens up about how she knows somethings up with her but shes not sure what it is, just that shes missing something
mitsys like u should be able to tell howard hes ur husband!
and mitsys like i'll pretend to be howard n then u can practice on me!
which is certainly not gonna end in murder cos pearl imagines howard in mitsys place. just gettin right into it
Lou: alt ending: lesbians was not prepared for that well hey good for u she did say u should let it all out. mitsys like ok i. i should go
pearl is really pouring her heart out here
she explains again she saw howard as a way out
and that she hid her true self in the hopes he would take her out of her life
damn this is a really long monologue
its well done though
pearl covets and its all she does, she wants to get away from what she has because she hates it, but the things she dreams of are shallow or short lived, she doesnt think about what's behind those things or the work they take or what happens when you have a bad day even in that kind of dream life thats the core of it essentially pearls reaction right after admitting she likes killing she finishes by saying she would be happy if hed just stay with her now, cos she cant do it alone anymore processing... wait did you say you like killing things yeah good luck with that :( pearl assumes mitsy got the part but then she says she didnt :o whats this mitsy run she now says she did get the part but i think shes just saying that in the hopes pearl wont fly at her throat shes like pls dont tell ur brother anything i just said ok even tho i was pretending you were him
thinking of it itd be kinda stupid of pearl to kill her as shes her husband's sister
not that she thinks too deeply about it when she kills stuff but. yknow. fingers crossed WALK FASTER GOOD GOD oh jeez oh shit oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh g-
mitsy i know ur wearing heels but pearl is gaining on u without even running cmon
she fell.
gdi. well that was that
howre u gonna explain that to howard. that is one HELL of an interpretation of that sentence. god damn her mom is still alive we get a montage of pearl "getting the house in order" that has some mirrored shots, which is pretty trippy g :(
they say it to each other in german
(its in her mind fyi) omg its howard!!!! honey im hooooooome!
jfc she didnt clear her parents out of the house
great thing for howard to come home to aaaaaaaaand that was pearl!
the end credits are over a shot of pearl holding onto that smile as hard as she can and struggliiiiiiing
it is. very unnerving
howard stays with her, by the way. He's still her husband once X rolls around.
that was cool, I quite liked that film. I should probably rewatch X but I think I like pearl better.
i think i prefer pearl cos its way more character focused, even tho X also had a very clear main character in Maxine
i prolly just find pearl more interesting than maxine
Lou: maybe howard also likes to kill
iirc from x he just really loves pearl
i dont remember if he kills anyone but he defends her with his life
which would also explain how he made it to such an old age
cos pearl says in this film all she wants is to be loved
which he does
Lou: all i really remember from X is feeling really bad for the cameraman dude whos dating jenna ortega's character
haha i did too
he gets shit for being upset but like. idk man i dont think hes in the wrong for being upset?
also i couldnt stand jenna's character
i thought she was fucking annoying
like this shots kinda iconic cos she looks rly horrified but also what are u doing with ur mouth i kinda hate it
glad she plays other type a characters nowadays
Lou: I'd be incredibly upset tbh i think he's fully right
Lou: also legit i couldn't tell that was her there.
what range. completely dead expression when shes wednesday, but also capable of. well, that up there