I NEED TO KNOW TIM
i mean it was my first question to him on his personal number but still
Salsa: Tim wtf this is important
k sold next on the list: the fever dream that is killer klowns from outer space
holy shit the intro music is so campy i love it a cop just called a random guy a son of a bitch even tho he didnt even do anything
typical
"friday now is just starting" oooh i picked a good day to watch this
ok well considering this is a movie about murder clowns i think this is a clear sign to stay away from the chiodo family cos idk how they were raised but somethin is up there
oh. okay
jesus christ and i thought our ice cream man was annoying
like he comes through every single day even in winter, its weird
but at least he doesnt talk
oh the guy who thought that was an okay thing to say is not a space clown. that was just a dude. jesus
all the teenagers in their mid thirties are annoyed
well except this dude i guess
they have two girls in the back of the ice cream van and jesus this is painfully unsubtle i mean. im watching a movie called killer klowns from outer space. idk what i expected.
the title is straight up like "they kill theyre clowns theyre aliens fuck you you knew what you were in for when you put this on" which fair enough i guess
theyre being pelted by cans ngl tho the visual of an icecream van at a lovers lane was pretty amusing
lovers lane? is that what they were called? idk.
oh god theyre main characters
SPACE
OH there they are
hornswoggled bamboozled
flabbergasted!
the english language sure is a beautiful thing.
[lou is typing...]
[also i saw u type]
[did i summon u with the clowns]
nooo hornswoggly man i like u please dont die immediately
he has a dog this man belongs in stardew valley not fuckin killer klowns from outter space
im gonna call it space murder clowns now that name is way too long.
he talks to his dog this man is an absolute sweetheart cmon
ok cool visual but also LEAVE HIM ALONE
NO
aw her name is pooh bear :(
hell ye u got ur priorities straight u go save ur dog >touches electrical wire
ok well that probably wasnt the best way to go about it
GIVE ME YOUR COAT
[Boys Don't Cry by The Cure plays violently in the background] i say violently but to be fair boys dont cry is too cheery sounding to be described that way. but you know what i mean
>little boys >just established theyre in college
anyway the younger cop stopped the older one from assaulting these two and now the old one is upset
when ur bike's had a flat tire for months and u dont know what to do with the $50 bike lock u got for it but u paid too much for it to let it go to waste FASHION
dunno how i missed the lil skeleton hanging off his coat. FASHIONNNNN
also the biggest safety pin ive ever seen my skirt has safety pins. were practically soulmates now
Ive found my favourite character
when a tacky horror movie points it out all the way back in 88 maybe u gotta take a long hard look at urself Moe: (That skirt is v cute)
(thank you!! )
>calls em kids again
dude the gothy one has the strongest widows peak ive seen in a while
somehow this guy connected the shooting star with the circus tent like in what world would you relate those to each other
ah yes when youre american and something's weird just call it european >proceeds to describe violently painful circus stereotypes for the next minute
god damn
stor wors? so the tent is a spaceship. alright
the boyfriend thinks this is a cotton candy factory. shes all like dude wtf as am i. who thinks that? nobody would
got some serious steve/nancy dynamics here. im gonna call em that from now on
his name's mike idk what hers it but fuck it
apparently steve still doesnt get it like dude have u ever seen stored cotton candy. like for real. u think thats how itd be done
i know ur a 35 year old pretending to be 17 or whatever but god damn
oh shit theres people stored in the cotton candy. id be more shocked but i happened to already know that
but still
rip nice old man :(
im getting some serious teletubby vibes from this
why was uk kid television so fuckin weird >they talk like jawas ok then
what the fuuuuuck one made a balloon animal dog and it immediately starts searching the humans for them thats weirdly non grotesque for this movie
wait is this one just dead. they sorta hit him with the car that was fast
nvm. the ost is charmingly campy 80s mixed with "man fell through roof onto keyboard and we happened to be recording it"
ah shes friends with the young cop prolly smart since their story is "hey uh space clowns are putting people in cotton candy"
someone jst called one of the clowns cute (thinking it was an animatronic)
i know its a long time ago BUT IN WHAT WORLD ARE THOSE THINGS CUTE
Hey dave did u bring me more people to beat up I feel like space clowns is a good enough reason to beat up these suspiciously old looking teens. cmon dave
i did a title drop n everything
the old cop might be a dickhead but hes got a great voice. i wonder if he did any va work
Hi you might not know me but i am here for the scene change in which I die
he just saw this puppet vaporize another one with a laser gun and hes just laughin oh horror movie characters. why are you like this
oh look its your murderer. why arent you running
wooo drawn on effects! my favourite wow they really do spin people into cotton candy coccoons. i thought this movie was more violent
damn she really is nancy the cop is her ex and hes all like lets take u home to safety and shes all NO DAVE IM GOING YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO
well he must feel awkward everyone underreacts massively to these horrifying clowns
WHY WOULD YOU NOT RUN AWAY SCREAMING another one just delivered someone a pizza and they just went ah yes. pizza
theyre all like im not gonna knock peoples lifestyle choices if my delivery guy wants to dress up as a clown he damn well can
Oh i remember this scene!
nani oh like. weed or sex or something
anyway the clown knocks a bikers head off
that took a turn
he tried to throw the bike 
kiryu kazuma he is not
omg the bite of 87????
jesus christ this is creepy i get that thats the point but ugh
omg her mum got her. thank god
>dave takes steve back to the lovers lane steve id like you to forget about nancy and date me instead
gettin some the blob vibes
somehow thinks the whole town is playing pranks on him about clowns makes me wonder how the police responded to the horror clowns back in 2016 now
obligatory shower scene cos of course bleh
hey lou are the bins at mcdonalds also prone to eating employees to be fair a clown sprinkled something inside before this happened but god knows what ronald gets up to
hey phill look, this horrible looking monster clown just waved at me! isnt that cute
seriously. he fuckin looks like this.
anyway he makes a shadow puppet to eat them all and the effect is pretty jank but the idea is cool
And iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii enemies to lovers. cmon killer klowns from outer space. lets do it
ah yes these two
they crashed it theyre like a sleazy version of the weasley twins
but like. 20 years older. and also not twins jesus
what is this casting
huh now i think about it idk how old everyone is supposed to be so might be knocking it unfairly
so the town is fucked cos this guy wont pick up the phone cos he doesnt believe the whole clown thing even though the whole town is calling about it someone hes on first name basis with called in and he still disregarded it
i dont. i dont even doubt it man i feel like a wikipedia article could totally be like The 1988 St. Hornswoggle Clown Massacre (quote) "The deputy on call didnt believe the callers despite numerous reports of violent activity in the town and resorted to not picking up the phone even though new calls kept flooding in [35]"
and id be like yeah that sounds possible
Hello I am here to end you
the clown sprays him with a flower with a water thing hidden in it and idk if ive just watched a lotta body horror movies lately but im legitimately surprised its just water and not like, acid or whatever
you leave the goth and his friend alone you technicolour space bastard
DONT PUT HIM IN WITH THEM YOU FUCK 
DONT LOOK AT THEM the effects are actually quite creative they really doubled down on the clown stuff but like, make it dangerous. thats kinda cool
noooo hes in the cell where those two were :( rip
somehow completely misses the clown sitting there great job dave
the clown turned him into a dummy and that was another thing i knew about it and its geniunely unsettling so uh. gj
hahahaha jesus if you break their clown nose they explode
....theyre having a parade now??? jesus i thought there was only three or four but theres a ton of them now
shes finally done with her half hour shower, good god i mean with the amount of time that has passed its more than that
ok so the clowns have like.. popcorn. thats alive. and its turned into these weird caterpillar things 
is.. is the popcorn like their eggs??
they trap nancy in this weird balloon instead of putting her in a coccoon for practically no reason other than "the plot wants her to not be dead"
not really feeling this movie but i do like that one of the main vehicles is an ice cream van now, thats kinda funny
fantastic script lads
omg is this the clown car thing
omg it is also damn the green one is small
they.. threw pies at a man.. and it killed him
alrighty..
oh they did do the acid thing. just iwth the pie and not the water. i see
the ice cream guys are main characters now so weve got
nancys boyfriend
nancys ex
ice cream lads
place ur bets whos gonna make it
no fred you must resist
look what you did that did nothing btw. was just steam i guess
omg its dashcon
oh look the organizers are here too.
careful dear this place is full of traps and a lotta sugar
so theres a clown and this guy has a gun and he knows if you shoot their nose they die. why isnt he doing anything. huh. just like pennywise they have spiderlike qualities. interesting
pff theyre at a dead end with doors that just keep opening to smaller doors cos of course
well there go the brothers. this movie cant seem to decide on a tone
ooh giant. neat
yay dave is ok
ot3
ok them being alive makes no sense but i'll take it more consistent with the movies tone anyway
well that was.
the title tells you everything you need to know honestly lol
i give it a 5. ill never rewatch it and i cant even say im glad i gave it a watch, i dont have a fear or hatred of clowns but they just look so gross in this movie idk something didnt work about it.
but its fine for what it is. if you like stupid horror you'll probably like this movie. its not particularly violent either so thats nice
oh also the dialogue is terrible
Mono: WHAT THE FUCK
yeah what the fuck is accurate