and by that i mean i already know what im gonna watch.
its final destination 3.
my faaaaaavourite
(final destination)
(not movie in general)
when rikki was into their emo furry phase in their teenage years i was into my emo boy phase

...and considering the text on this gif, i guess some a gen z is right now
time to go back uh.
god. maths
17 years

i am here to tell u
yes. yes it is the one with the rollercoaster.
maaaan its been ages since i was last at an amusement park...
3 also reminds me how fuckin stage magician ass the soundtrack to fd5 is
cos the one from 3 is actually ominous

not the character.
the actor
TEXAS
FUCKIN
BATTLE
Mono: WHAT
Mono: IS IT MATT!?>??
Mono: MATT IRL
Mono: TEXAS BATTLE
OMG MATT I DIDNT KNOW U WERE IN FINAL DESTINATION 3
Matt: OMG y’all found my secret identity (lol that is a crazy name though I love that)
next time we play some games n u need a nickname we got u covered

they cut between shots of an amusement park and an.. okay?? cg effect of a ball in a plinko machine.
Mono: i love theme park stuff so im biased
even if they make it look scurry here
me too man
plane crash? pls no. no no
car pile up? also no, but also, jfc, the way they did it was way overdone
rollercoaster crash? hell yeah!!!!!
nascar or whatever the fuck? dont care
bridge collapse? .... kinda boring the more i think about it
final destination 3, 10/10
Mono: oooh yehhh 4 was with the race
4 is so shit god damn i haaaaate it


Mono: THESE ARE SO SCARY AAAH
i agree!
i got a fear of heights lol
and still

cos she didnt do the tower


also known as ramona flowers a few years later
(the phase was having all her friends die in freak accidents)
also. i hate scott pilgrim. fuck scott and ramona and also the whole fucking thing its the worst manic pixie dream girl shit ever
the only good thing about it is the scene where they sing a Metric song and honestly?? the original is better.
um, anyway
Mono: lol i never saw it but it sounds... uh............................................................................
dont bother, the best thing about it is the special effects. its just loser boy has asshole girlfriend with colourful hair and he fights a buncha assholes for her while constantly pointing out how his (ex) girlfriend is like, so chinese man, like, oh my god!!! (seriously scott pilgrim aged like milk)
Mono: waaaaaa ive seen people call it a classic and everything but my brain cant help but feel... cringe LOL
i didnt like it when i first saw it and anyone i know who rewatched it now was like eesh theres a lotta uncomfy shit in it
like if you love it? dont get me wrong, you shouldn't feel bad for loving it, im also just another person
I just cant stand it, personally
Back to FD3: basically this film is full of canadians. cos it was filmed there. but they all gotta pretend its america lol
this actress is actually american but shes an outlier
Mono: wait do they have canadian accents??
afaik no. they disguise it pretty well lol




also fun fact jason (second from the right) is played by.
idk the actors name but hes the antagonist in tucker and dale vs evil. I'm only pointing this out cos I never saw him in anything else, but he's great in that and he's pretty cute in this.

...not because of chad. but because its a fantastic and fun movie
Lou: love the Scott Pilgrim slander. i love the concept but it did NOT age well
the concept coulda been so good but uggh its just. its not
well, its not well executed
:(
so i agree

"we stand in line-"




then again its a rollercoaster, those all have tryhard names
..well, theres the smiler, which is unhinged and actually had horrific accidents happen but that might be kinda hard to explain for a 2006 horror movie

shes. not gonna break up with him over that. shes breaking up with him cos hes a himbo, essentially.


if i could spit on 2006s grave I would
except for the emo fashion. that was kinda cute. that can stay



cos i forgot.

she won an inflatable palm tree which is such a shit gift lol whatre you gonna do with that?



ive seen this movie so many times i dont remember this guy lol

from when i watched the haunting in connecticut???
the sister????
its her!!!
lookin like a disney extra!
woo!
in this she is wendy's lil sister.

this shot is actually relevant.
also decent casting lol i think they look like they can be sisters

his characters name is lewis BUT FUCK THAT
ur texas battle!

so the fd movies actually have death as a character, always played by the same actor. in this film unfortunately he only voices this devil figure in front of the roller coaster
but at least he's there a little bit. I think 4 might not have him at all but im not entirely sure


this is frankie, he's a cunt.

...
wait. is that why their name is ashley/ashlyn. cos of what happens to them
good god


which. is not usually that far off, to be honest.



STOP TALKING ABOUT DEATH

anyway yeah the emos are called ian and erin, the bimbos are called ashley and ashlyn, whoever wrote the script fucking hates naming characters evidently


which as an acrophobic i understand








ngl i always think of this movie when im on a rollercoaster

oh wait i blamed frankie and the movie kinda makes it look like its his fault, but thats not possible.
the film does show theres some other problems with the coaster as well, it just also ties frankie's camera into it which creates a bit of a plothole



..which causes the safety bars to come loose..

i guess the idea is the loose valve is frankie's fault, but everything else is just due to it being a rollercoaster on a fair that was poorly maintained
but tbh they shouldn't have had the camera be a plotpoint then, as it would just confuse the audience

our mcs are all in the back btw.
except for jason and wendy's best friend, who were in the front

flyyyyyying
theres no bars on the rollercoaster track he cant reach
(at high velocity)
(rip)

oh shit at this point its just ian, erin, kevin and wendy
i guess Frankie Ashley and Ashlyn crashed with the front cars, i dont think they got a separate exit


Mono: LOL YEH
Mono: I don't think this is even really possible but go off
it has happened, actually!
"A glitch in the electronics system stopped the rollercoaster ride mid-way and the riders were left hanging upside down for 45 minutes, according to reports."
Mono: :O

and with our, i mean mine.
but i hope also yours. with time.
even though theyre a little snooty at times.

(rip)
(again)
(note that ian falls before erin does)
we see two more people fall but who are they?


which is a bit of a weird strategy as their supports are off, idk why you want the train to keep going. but i suppose he hopes they get stuck on an upright spot which is fair

at high velocity!
rip!!
they have a quick shot of kevin's. um. legs. sitting back down which is clearly supposed to be horrific but it looks so fuckin silly like his legs were like "so rude of me to stand up mid ride, my sincerest apologies"


shes on the rollercoaster but it hasnt taken off yet








hes fighting two jocks and would get the shit kicked out of him if they even noticed his attempt to involve himself so, kudos to u mr. ian mckinley

why not dismiss the whole train. but whatever

oh they leave cos theyre like ugggggh cant be with peers when they act their age.










1. kevin was jasons friend
2. her best friend was gonna break up with him
3. he reminds her of jason





also fun fact: i didnt know the USA had a president named McKinley until I did research for Night 45. This movie suddenly made more sense to me after that lol
also goth boy with chipped nail polish, nice attention to detail. i feel like it looks more organic than if it had been fresh



which is an odd thing to invite someone to, but it is kind of them to think of her.
the least wendy could do is give them a sincere thanks for thinking of me.

(i think theyre just chuckling at the fact that inviting someone to a tanning salon is a little odd unless you know theyre into tanning)


I don't like wendy.
she's an ass.
She is grieving, which I get, but so is Kevin, who lost his girlfriend and his best friend, just like she did, and she doesn't consider his feelings AT ALL. She also completely disregards any kindness anyone else tries to show her. FD3 might be my favourite final destination, the main character kinda sucks. I dont like her.

and wendy is like god kevin im trying to be an unlikeable asshole leave me alone
hes like they all died, unless -

and i love it for that.
mainly cos of who they apply this rule to.

im not gonna screenshot any of it cos i think even implying what happens might be uncomfy if i show any piccies so uh. i'll just say, this is their final scene.
you might already be familiar with it as its the most famous scene from the film.
this song plays while they're tanning. (so subtle) I still get it stuck in my head sometimes lol

to show they care about each other, or whatever

anyway wendys like julie pls stay with me when i go off to college so i can cope with jasons death
(idk why she doesnt mention carrie, her best friend, who also died, at all)
(whoops, i guess)
oh sorry the bracelet is actually julie's. she borrows it to wendy. my bad

(the funeral is ashley and ashlyns)
(cos theyre being buried at the same time)
(cos thats a normal thing to do for families to bury their kids on the same day)
(whoever wrote this script had a priority and the ashes was not it)
(HAHA ASHES GET IT)
(eyeroll)

IAN HAS A VAN
I FUCKIN KNOW I PUT A VAN IN N45 COS I SEE IT IN SO MANY MOVIES I WATCH BUT GOOD GOD DAMN THIS IS WAY MORE ANCHORED IN MY PSYCHE THAN I THOUGHT I HATE IT THIS IS JUST A STUPID HORROR MOVIE THATS NOT EVEN THAT GOOD
cough
anyway




(look man idk this is just the second film where i see emo kids disrupt a funeral)
(sorta)
(the other film it was the mother of an emo kid BUT STILL)




you can argue im giving the film too much credit, but I like this. I think it's a step in the right direction that a character is like they were nice people and they did nothing wrong! when esp. in this genre they'd be treated like a very negative archetype that's deserving of death and being forgotten (to speak in Cabin in the Woods archetypes, the whore) so its cool to see a frankly kinda cookie cutter horror franchise defy the norm a little bit.

and to be fair this isnt really the time and place
i just like it from a viewer's perspective
wendy wants to talk to kevin now cos her photos represent the deaths of the ashes so she believes the thing he said, i guess


i'd use him as a proof of theory. the only photo death we've had so far is ashley and ashlyn. let's go for three times the charm before we involve ourselves, I say
no context but wendy calls kevin sad for knowing spongebob lives underwater
did you not have a childhood wendy
the fuck did you watch when you were a kid, fox news
you fucking twat

this sounds like the set up for a character arc for wendy but afair she doesnt change in that regard? i guess we'll see

there is someone
walking behind you
turn around

um, including this driverless truck rolling down the hill, at them


nnnnnot entirely sure the chain crash would've killed them, as the car crashing into the back of kevin's causes the motorblock of kevin's truck to eject from his car (?? idk man just. its what happens) launching it into the back of the car in front of them, killing the driver in front of kevin and Wendy.

rest in piss.
small bit of trivia the writers originally made Frankie survive the whole film. who THE FUCK decided that. Fuck all of you, 2006. except whoever decided to kill Frankie. You were so right. thank fuck you got your way.

sad times ensue
wendy doesnt have the guts to tell him cassie was gonna break it off
idk if thats supposed to show growth
just a thing


but they focus on the hammer.
so. yeah.

oh but kevin points out the swirling dervish (?) stand is important cos it relates to the sultans which is the team texas battle is trying out for
so. working togeeeether
as a teaaaam
wendy has to acknoooooowledge
that kevin isnt an iiiiiiidiot
(which we already knew)
(cos hes way more genre savvy than her)
(but i guess were supposed to ignore that)


this scene is actually kinda funny cos any time he mentions the enemy team the entire team goes "YEAH FUCK [ENEMY TEAM]"



doesnt mean they'll kill me when they come loose


Now the weights are going
At an alarming rate
right at my skull
Oh god
Oh god!
Lewis' head's just a blur!
uh so yeah that was lewis texas battle.

save it for your therapist you really think kevin is gonna have the answer

and they have nicknames for each other
i. dont get it, but maybe someone else here does
they work at home depot or whatever
their supe told ian to kill pigeons thatve been setting off the alarms so he just very dramatically loaded a nail gun


(he does. he kills one)
(in final destination killing a pigeon is a very very very very very bad thing to do.)
(do not be mean to pigeons.)
(even if your supes tells you to.)



(well. dirty blonde. maybe brown. idk. just not black.)

he doesnt shoot her btw. but this photo does predict what happens next quite accurately.

did u just speak up at the funeral cos u gotta be contrarian
is that it
erin is just as sceptical btw

so to be fair to the film they are consistent on how pragmatic the emo couple is
kevin explains to ian that dude it skips the next person if they avoid their death, there is a logic to it and ian is like duuuuuude what are you on


But Wendy doesn't remember. to be fair to her, Ian falls like, thirty seconds before Erin does.

movie.
no.
shoulda put these two earlier in the line to make this believable. cmon.

ian being a snooty ass bitch going "memento mori, lads" comes back to bite him quite gloriously, btw
Mono: a plain heart attack? very lame mori :/
i can hear ian say this


Mono: compelled by death....




he also gestures rather aggressively which reminds me of another emo boy from a film from three years later

ooh someone giffed the exact moment. thank u tumblr

is it a coincidence colin also does hand gestures really aggressively?
absolutely.
100%.
am I going to pretend its not?
hahahahhahayes
anyway back to final destination 3

"hypothetically, of course"


ian life get!

and it involves the nail gun ian used to kill a pigeon.
when i first saw it it was the one death from this film that got scarred into my mind. it's. quite bad
but uh yeah, rip erin


early 2000s fashion was so fucking lame good god

whos next tho. time for more saving of the people

guess. they decided that was a good thing


i take the micky outta this film but they dont like. romance these two or whatever
i dont like wendy but i do like kevin and the photo thing is really fucking cool and i like the new thing this film adds to the series as well
and kevin and wendy's relationship is pretty good, even if it doesnt have the depth it kinda needed. the basis for it is there and i'll accept it as all they could do with the time and resources given


(but it is appreciated)
(i do like me some scornful revenge boyfriend storyline)

oh ur asleep

hopefully
netflix in the meantime: are you still watching?



THE BRACELET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kinda wish it wasnt silver cos my lizard brain went OMG IAN even tho i know this isnt ians van lol
guess they didnt have the budget to rent another van in a different colour or something
um so yeah the people behind ian and erin on the rollercoaster were Julie and one of her friends.
so Wendy is freaking out.
also there is a fair goin on right now so everyone in town is in the same place
kevin is doin security at the place, wendy isnt at the event but hes like we have to look at the photos rn
so wendy does
and shes like look man i dont see anything in mine

shes liek huhhhhhh i wonder if mckinley is relevant??????????
and kevins like is ian in the piccy? just in case we forgot ians last name is mckinley
but then wendy says nahhh but it feels relevant
might as well have her go no but kevin i found the script and it says i should point it out

ignore the timestamp
kevins like omg ima die of fireworks
at the county fair
film starts heavily implying that


i love the human threat in this one
hes clearly attributing erin's death to wendy and kevin, but at this point he hasnt connected any logic to it
he just thinks she died cos they came to them with their insane story
and he wont let it go


the fireworks are goin so wendy is like omg kevin

(hes fine though)
(its a fakeout)



wendys like we gotta go all the signs point to mckinley!

the main trio is like GET OUTTA HERE and ians bein all sarcastic and full of vinegar and honestly at this point, he doesnt think hes got anything to gain

meanwhile, cos its final destination, we see some dangerous shit happening in the background. fireworks going off, installations cutting loose and pointing in the wrong direction
hes not wrong. With everything that's happened, both Julie and Kevin have been skipped. so Wendy is up next. Ian kept track.

i bet the next bit is giffed hang on
..ok hang on


thank u tumblr, once again
ian's like holy shit so it was me. i was destined to cause your death
which. in itself. should tell him something is wrong. but i figure he's too caught up in anger and grief to realise

cos i guess some people are too stupid too realise he drew the wrong conclusion that its wendy's fault erin died

then again i think wendy thinks if she lives all of them will live, they will all have been skipped
so i supose the idea is ian is being selfish here








kevin dies, julie dies, wendy sees the train crashing into her
spoiler! its another premonition. but there is nothing they can do cos they just noticed kevin and the train is driving.
end film
originally the film ended with the train crashing into wendy but test audiences got upset
so they changed it so idfk the ending is slightly delayed lol its still implied they all die.
theyre also fuckin stupid for thinking they defied death, ian dying clearly shows that if you defy death you just end up on the back of the list and it'll get to you once it's gotten everyone after you.
which julie actually fucking references.
three has issues.
but its still my favourite of the final destinations.
i love that it has a human antagonist who is just driven by pure emotion
ian has nothing to gain by wanting wendy dead, it wont bring erin back
but i think its so human, idk how to word it. It also goes against all of the pragmatism hes shown so far
hes a huge hypocrite, he's all like well hey man death comes for us all. but the moment he loses someone he loves he's filled with anger at losing them. sees it as an injustice
he wants revenge even though it won't get him anything. he's just upset. and I like that, i think its a strength fd3 has
5 kinda reuses it but i think 3 did a slightly better job
in that 3 actually has a few likeable characters. everyone in 5 is an ass
and im saying that as someone who thinks 5 is okay
also the characters in 3 are teens. in 5 they are all adults. making their behaviour less excuseable
5 outta 10.
does it have a heart? not really. did i have fun? omg, so much fun.
Majo: fave destination :)
ye :D